With or Without You
I guess now I am beginning to see a much clearer picture, for my sanity’s and happiness’ sake.
I just have to let it be this way right? What else can I do?
I mean it’s all very simple. Here’s the story:
“A likes B. A ask B out. B agrees. And A and B went out for about 5 dates. A even met some of B’s good mates and got along fine. A thinks B is reciprocating so A wants to meet again to express his feelings. But B is not free due to work commitments and A still try to keep in contact everyday by text and online whenever possible. A is also quite a busy man to begin with. And out of the blue, B starts to become very cold. A is quite puzzled by the sudden disinterest from B. The initial spontaniety has disappeared. A is losing his confidence as B keeps rejecting A’s initiative to go out. A has given B quite a lot of breathing space and is very confused by the change in the attitude but he can’t find out the reason without meeting B alone. And now B doesn’t reply A’s text anymore. The replies have become very a-matter-of-fact and B seems to have disappeared completely from A’s msn, even though she had been online frequently and updating her facebook. This is a little out of B’s character as she always goes on msn. Something’s going on…..”
Do I like her enough to climb the highest mountain? Perhaps I could have, if she had willed it. Nature does not take its course. It’s how we will things to happen right. Create opportunities. If she’d liked me enough, she would have given me more opportunity to express myself. But I must say she did at first and I felt that she was reciprocating and I was led to believe that at some point she was interested…
Did I say something or do something wrong? Maybe she wants to block out everything else and chase her career to new heights. Maybe the timing isn’t right? I’m not worthy enough. Maybe. I will be very disappointed if she chose to hide behind the veil of work. I will never ever know.
Or maybe my gut feeling was wrong. There was no interest on her part in the first place, from the beginning. It was just a figment of my imagination.
I cannot go on and continue to be foolish.
I shall not be left hanging anymore. I will now cut lose the rope and drop into the sea below. Let the tide trash me around and wash me to another place.
If she should extend another rope for me, I will not grab it. I have been tired out by these “games”. We are all mature and should find opportunities to talk things out - whether friends or lovers.
It didn’t matter anymore now though, with or without you. Friends or not.
